Giving Up =(

This is totally contradictory to my previous post of never giving up. But shouldn't you just give up because you know fighting won't make a difference? Or fighting will lead to more unbearable hurt? Is it worth it to fight into a battle of an unknown outcome, where you could be wounded deadly and never be able to recover perfectly, would it just be better to be a coward and escape an unpredictable misery? What if love is the prize of a gruesome battle, would you fight for it? What if someone beats you to the prize? What if all that fighting isn't worth the price of the prize? To be or not to be? We're in a chain of constant wonder and puzzlement of what would be the outcome of our actions for love. Love is such a dear prize, where cold tears run down our faces, suffering may touch our skins, pain may stamp our souls, sacrifices that have to be made, all these trouble for what? Aye, for love.

Heartbroken

Wow, it's been such a long time since I've wrote in this. Well maybe it's because my life hasn't been that interesting lately, but now I've got something that I wanna spill the beans out about. I am feeling pretty down in the deep blue ocean right now. It feels horrible. It just happened, I don't know what happened but it did. I fell for one of my closest guy friends, it sounds like the beginning of a wonderful love story, it's not... He was just a normal friend which I would hang out with, talk to every day, share a joke with. But this year, this new "amazing" year of 2012, I don't know... I just somehow fell for him.  I thought it was just a weird crush, that it would go away once I found a cute guy I can day dream about. But i don't know, i see him kinda differently now, i notice when our skins touch, and what his reactions are when we talk. Well now that I know that he likes someone else, i feel really hurt and i know now truly that i did like him, and it wasn't just a temporary crush, it was real. And i just wanna sit in a corner and bawl my eyes out, because it hurts... I've seen my friends cry their hearts out because their crushes have been taken by some other pretty girl, and I've seen them gone through the pain, and I never realized how bad it hurts, when someone you want so bad wants somebody else just as badly. And the world is not fair, you can't get what you want, even though how hard you try, you would just get hurt instead.