First move =)

So, I'm the kind of girl that wants the guy to make the first move. I'm scared if I make the first move I'll get rejected or come up as pushy and try hard. But someday, I'm going to stand up and face my fears, I'll never truly know how you feel about me if I just wait it out. That's someday =P But now, I'll just do my best, try everyday to get your attention, try to know you more, try to get you to like me. Then maybe, you're the one who would make the first move =)

Live Life =)

 Live Life =)

Don't Be Shy =)

 Have Fun =)

       

                      

Good Night =)

Wish you were mine =)

I wish you would hug me tight and never let me go =)

=)

I have died everydayWaiting for youDarling, don't be afraid,I have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more

And all along I believedI would find youTime has broughtYour heart to meI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more

Spoilt =?

It was a long time since I've been "pursuing" boys, because for the most of this year, the boys came to me, I'm not sure what they see in me but I was just being myself. But now, I have this guy I like, I'm not sure if he's interested in me, but I have to "pursue" him =) , and I've been spoilt rotten I don't even know if i know how to flirt with guys anymore =) And it's so tiring how you try and try everyday and you wish there was some, just a tiny bit of improvement or sign of him liking you. And for me, I'm used to guys trying to ask me out I forgot how it was the other way round. Trying to make eye contact, trying to talk to him, smiling every time you see him, trying not to act retarded around him, all these stuff you have to consider. I forgot how that feels, that excitement, that butterflies in your stomach, and you just want to scream out loud "LOOK AT ME!!". Liking someone, it is such a frustrating feeling, but there's this sense of happiness whenever he's around, and you say to yourself "ACT COOL", and all you want to do is show him you're better. I wish that I could Google how he feels about me. I wish he would make the first move =)

Love =)

Music =)

I am not really a person who listens to music much, but sometimes when I'm sad, I just lay on the ground in my bedroom and listen to a sad song and just close my eyes and let the music flow through me. It's not what most people do when they're sad, but it's what i do. It calms me, and I usually find lyrics in the song that relates to my situation and play the song over and over again until i'm calm or cheered up =) So for the people out there who are sad, just lie down and listen to a song and just close you eyes.

YOU =)

I hope I can be one step closer to you everyday, and bit by bit, I want to be standing right next to you =)

I want you but is there something there for me in you?

=DDDDD

Not knowing =)

Not knowing what will happen. There's this whole big future out there for us, and we will never know what will happen till it has, will we be happy, will we die tomorrow, will we get divorced, will we have kids, will we be successful, will we meet the one? We live life not knowing what will happen tomorrow, all we can do is hope for the best, and live for today. I don't know when I'll meet the one, it could be tomorrow, two days later, 4 years later? I'll never know. But I know he's out there waiting for me, just like i'm i'm waiting for him. A lot of people wish they could see the future, but our destiny is easily changed by the choices we make, even the little ones. So what we do now affects our path, so what's the point of hoping everyday, when all you've got to do is start now, make the right decisions, mistakes are fine, nobody's perfect, live the moment, seize the day, create your own future.

Girls =D

AHAHA XD

A Thousand Years =)

Paradise =)

Watch Me =)

There are so many people who drag us down and say that "YOU CAN'T". We have all these pressure from people telling us what we can't and can do, and we believe them, and we're just constricted between the limits THEY set, but all you have to is just believe in yourself and realize it's not about them, it's about YOU. Your life doesn't revolve around them but it revoles around YOU. There is so much things you can do and don't be confined by what other people believe but do what YOU believe.  There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't. But all you've got to do is turn around and say "Watch Me".    

Romance =)

We all have our different versions of romantic dates, well i'm more of an informal kinda romance girl. I hate having to dress up all pretty to go to a silly dinner date in a expensive restaurant, in a crowded area. I would prefer getting hotdogs or fries from a food stall at night, and just roaming the streets and talk without the formality. Or also hanging out in a small open park at night, where it's dark and quiet, and all you can see is the stars, and we can just talk or fool around a bit ;) I would also like going to the movies with him, and I can lean on his shoulder and haha, for him to do that old yawning trick. Or maybe just going to the beach and watch the sunset. I want a guy who can give me his coat when it's cold and can open the door for me. That can protect me from anything and is always there for me. That can hold on to me tight and never let me go. I want a guy that is just right for me =)

In Love =?

Have you ever fallen for a guy so much you think you're in love? Your heart beats faster when you're near him, and you grin whenever you hear his name. You get excited when he looks at you, talks to you, teases you, and you're hoping so much that he likes you back. You wonder at night about him, the things he said to you, the actions he made, trying to find little signs in there if he likes you. You get jealous or depressed when he talks to another girl, looks at another girl, and your heart just aches for him to do the same to you. For the guy I like, I don't know what made me like him but I do, and a lot, I just wish he likes me back, don't we all? But I'll keep trying, no matter what anyone says, as a wise person once said "just follow your heart";)

Be unique =)

Don't try to fit in with everyone else, be individually unique

Popularity =?

Being popular is one of the common things we desire, having the highest status, having the most friends, getting invited to cool parties, having the front row seat in high school. The popular kids seem so happy and seem like they're enjoying life everyday, but on the inside, are they really? In my opinion being popular is a tough life, you have to live up to your status, cool, slutty and full of swag. You change yourself into this person people look upon, so different than the real you, and you put this appearance up everyday at school and you're so use to it you turn into this totally opposite person. And what if you're popularity decreases, you drink alcohol, smoke, swear a lot, you think that makes you look cool and it will increase your status but it'll only make you look like a pooh. People want to be popular so bad, but I have to admit, I am fully contented of being how I am right here, the normal, ordinary students. We can just live our school life freely without having to live up to an image, and if we screw things up, who cares? But if the popular kids screw things up, everybody knows, and everybody would be judging them. So being just the ordinary means we don't have to live up to the high expectations of everybody and just be ourselves, live our teen years, make mistakes without being judged. Popularity has it's perks but don't get lured in the dark side just because they have cookies. 

Guy Friends =)

Don't you just love guy friends? They can tease you and make you laugh. You can have so much fun with them and you don't have to worry about putting on make up or dressing up pretty, and you can just be yourself without them judging you. They are also always there for you, and really good at listening, and give you guy advice and the guy's perspective of your problem or situation. They are also laid back and you can have weird conversations with them without it being awkward, and it always cheers you up, but most of my guy friends have dirty minds ;). And you can just hangout with them and learn a little about guy stuff like video games ;) Hehehe, I kinda punch my guy friends alot, they're fun to play with, unlike girl friends when you punch them they get hurt and die. I hate it when girls can't just hangout with their guy friends without being called a slut, I mean it's none of their business. I'm just writing this post to appreciate my guy friends and how much they mean to me, they're an escape from the gossip and pressure and you can just relax and be yourself with them. 

Best Friends in Love =)

I love the fact how girl and boy best friends can turn their relationship into something much deeper. They know much about anything about each other and accept them for who they are, and you don't have to worry about them seeing your casual or crazy side, because they already know you like the back of their hand. They know your favourite stuff, what you hate, what you like, they've gone through good and bad with you and has seen your hyperventilating laughing face, and you're torn ugly crying face. So you don't have to worry because you know they got your back.  

Wrong love? =/

I have this friend. She is still in love with her ex and has hooked up with him a couple of times even though he's a jerk and he'll never treat her right. To my best friend who never understands her. Why is she still in love with him? Because, she is lonely, she just got dumped by her boyfriend(not the one we're talking about) and if you read my earlier posts, you'll know how empty it feels when someone so close to you leaves, and her ex- is kinda the rebound guy. But she then finds out she still has feelings for him, she thought she got over him, but there is still a tiny spark in her. And she gets more attached to him, and it's not about the rebounding anymore, she thinks about him, the memories she use to have with him, even though her whole body is telling her not to, she got hurt the last time, but she still wants him. Why though? Even though he's a jerk. She's thinking about all the fun times she had with him, how she had fallen for him, and how their relationship was so special, she doesn't want to think about how it ended, she's believing that maybe this time he won't be a jerk, he'll appreciate me, i'll be better, i know this time he wouldn't. She's tricking herself. She's used to all her friends telling her not to, she just ignores our warnings. I know how badly you dislike her, but try understanding her first. =)

Life =)

This is for my best friend =) You know how you're so paranoid about everything and you don't want things to screw up? I love that about you. Answering your question here, "But sometimes i really don’t know the right decision, I mean how can you just KNOW?" Well, life isn't about making the right decisions, it's about living in the moment, following your heart, everything doesn't have to be accurate, we all make mistakes and nobody's perfect. How do you know if you made the right decision? I have no idea? That's for everybody to find out. You can never be 100% sure, but you'll know it, don't ask me how but you just do. I know there are lots of decisions in life even the little ones too but don't plan your life, create it and live it without regrets, if you regret every little mistake you've done, then all you'll do is just live in misery. Haha, you know how I said there's always someone out there for you? That perfect person? There is, even if he's your 99%, as you said the world is this humongous place and it could be anyone from this billions of people, but if you were meant to be with him, nothing in the world would stop you two from being together. 

Fear of rejection =(

The fear of rejection, a mixture of uncertainty and paranoia. We withdraw ourselves from the world because our minds are imprinted with this image of us being rejected and turned down before we even attempt to try. This fear change the way we view life, we only see the “safe” things, the things that we definitely can do, but don’t you want to try the other possibilities? Life is a risk we have to take, there is no such thing as being better than someone else, you just have to be the best in you, put yourself out there, if you live within the limits then you’re not really living are you? You are who you are and you create your own destiny, live everyday like there’s no tomorrow. =)

You Are Beautiful =)

You are beautiful and you know it. =)

Don't Let Me Go =) I LOVE this song

Look up at the sky =)

Do you ever look up at the sky and feel this rush of happiness, when the warm sun lays on your skin, and your whole body just feels warm. Just sit down on the ground, somewhere quiet, then close your eyes, and let your senses flow, hear the wind, the leaves rattle, feel the wind blowing against your skin, reach to the ground and just dig your fingers in, feeling the warm grass or soil. Live the moment. Then open your eyes and look at the bright blue sky. I always have this sense of remembrance when I look at the sky, thinking about my life and how my decisions made me what I am today, and I also have this longing of the past, how things were so simple. Watching the sun set, a beautiful ceremony for the end of the day but also a ceremony for the starting of the night. I live somewhere with little skyscrapers, the night sky streamed with shining stars, all of them individually unique. Looking at the moon, knowing how someone out there is also looking at the exact same thing. Looking at the sky, I feel this sense of peacefulness and this calm feeling. Whenever I'm mad, I'll just open the window and look at the sky, hoping there's a sign from above to guide me, but we make our own path, not follow others.

When I Look To The Sky =)

Break Ups and Loss =(

After my break up with my ex-, I felt empty. It's so weird how someone so close to you can be here one day but gone the next. I couldn't tell if it was reality or an illusion. It's hard when you get so attached to someone, and when he left, it felt like a part of me was taken with him, was it my heart? If you wanted to be with someone else, you shouldn't have been with me in the first place. I should've known you'll bring me heartache. I can't walk anywhere without you're haunting presence, memories of us flooding back. Sleeping or waking with you on my mind. It took so long for me to heal, but if you touched me, I don't know if i could still stay strong. I bet you are just fine, was I so easy for you to just walk right in and out of my life?  Leaving scars on my heart, I wished you just leave me be. Seeing you every day, i miss you, but I need to look the other way.  Goodbye. 

Are you still there for me? =/

Him. The first crush I had when I came to this new school. He was to slow, he came up too fast, he stopped, but did i? He always stared at me, thought I didn't know. That rush of warmness flooding through when our eyes met, a short period of time when my heart beats faster than usual. ;) I felt a connection, if that's what you call it, intense atmosphere when he was around, a flow of electricity, but did he feel it to? Or was it just me? We girls normally jump to conclusions, was this just me jumping to conclusions, or was this real? Now I question myself, do I still have feelings for him? Do I still have tingles when he's around me? Is there still some spark in us both that can light up and spread a wild fire? If there is still some within me, are you still there for me?

Seize the day =)

Seize the day, today is today, live like there's no tomorrow.

Life is B-E-A-UTIFUL =)

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up =)

Acceptance and Changes =)

All we want is acceptance, someone to accept us in to the popular group, the sporty group, the pretty group, generally the BETTER group.  Don't you act crazy around some guy you like or some popular group?  For the guy i like, I just want him to notice me, i keep thinking, if I'm just a little more special than the other girls, he could like me. I just want to prove to him I'm better, don't pick them, PICK ME! But instead, I change myself into this person I hardly recognize, try hard and shallow. But you know what? If this guy doesn't accept the true you then what's the point? If he likes just a fake character of you, it's not real then. Do we want them to accept us for who we are? or just some other fake person? We all have different and particular personalities, all of them are amazingly unique. Just remember, there is always someone out there to accept YOU, that perfect person to accept that perfect you. But if you keep on changing yourself, you'll just lose track of your own true REAL personality, and you may also lose that person out there waiting for you.

Bad Relationships =(

Well, relationships are complicated things. I've had a handful of them. The first boyfriend I had in Perth, started... how do you say it? Hmm... A mixture of uncertainty, excitement, awkwardness and passion. I didn't expect to get a boyfriend so fast,   I couldn't believe it myself. Well this love story didn't end up happily ever after, it ended up with broken hearts and friendship caused by a back-stabbing awful betrayal by what used to be one of my closest friends, I thought I could trust her, but you know what? She thought meh, I'm single, I have the right to like him. And the weird thing is, I wasn't full on mad at my ex, i still liked him even though he fell for another girl, is that crazy? I wanted to hate her, to never let this go but it was to tiring, hate can't solve this, I forgave her. The wound is healed but it is still scarred.But I don't regret it , except my first kiss, I wanted it to be a special moment, it wasn't. This was just a bump along the road, it was an experience for me, to watch out for other bumps on the road. You learn from failure and sooner or later success will come your way.  

First Entry =)

So this is my first blog entry... Thought it would feel more SPECIAL... Well, my life isn't the most interesting amongst the millions of people in the world but WHAT THE HECK? I'm from Malaysia, the most wildest and busiest country you could live in. The food there is just AMAZING... Crime rate? Sky High.. My whole family moved here to wonderful Perth, Australia. It was mainly because of our Education, because the Malaysian government is CRAP. Well, first impression of Perth, peaceful unlike the hussle bussle back home.  When I first came here, I felt like i have this whole new clean slate, no background, no history. I can just be a whole new person, a much more interesting and popular girl I was back then. But I realized, I am who I am, and I am proud to be who I am and nothing can change that, because nobody's perfect but everybody is BEAUTIFUL, and all you have to do is just BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.